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Tony Ryan's avatar

Yeah, like, who would have ever thought there would be a pro-humanity use for glyphosate. Here's how its done folks... Disguise yourself as a trannie, and sidle up to the offending fresh-planted tree and surreptisiously empty your squeegee spray bottle over the foliage. Ten days later, the council enforcers will then beat up any trannies hovering around.

After the next council meeting they will be watching for trannies with squeegee bottles, so then you carry a long baloon half-full with soil sterilant inside your next disguise... the trouser leg of your best suit. Do this just prior to rain, which will disperse the chemical in all directions for three metres all around. The council enforcers will beat up the councilmen.

Phase three: disguised as an old lady, sprinkle salt on your packet of takeaway food, making sure the remainder pours on the ground next to the tree. Then warn old ladies you like to stay away for a month.

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