The video towards the end that has the more balanced perspective is based on Bowen Theory, which fact is a bit glossed over at the start (I haven't watched the whole video yet before commenting -- sorry). Bowen Theory is indeed very helpful in understanding family dynamics and resolving some of these issues. Simply learning about Bowen T…
The video towards the end that has the more balanced perspective is based on Bowen Theory, which fact is a bit glossed over at the start (I haven't watched the whole video yet before commenting -- sorry). Bowen Theory is indeed very helpful in understanding family dynamics and resolving some of these issues. Simply learning about Bowen Theory can help people change in helpful ways to heal broken relationships and become closer. My personal experience is that it is harder for the people who are the most self-centered (reactive, easily triggered, blaming) to change -- so that leaves it up to the more aware party to begin to become more of an observer and calm the situation..... I cannot do justice to this approach here -- I urge all of you to check out Bowen Theory and look into it in more than a superficial way. It also greatly informs our understanding of what is being done to all of us in terms of manipulation of humanity. Many answers and solutions will be found. The more of us who understand these dynamics and can take the necessary, individual action, the stronger we become as a whole.
People who need reconciliation (for whatever reason) will reconcile.
People who want deep and trusting future connections they can rely on will not, without genuine contrition and regret.
If I was to apply forgiveness as general principle to unimportant relationships, I would always know that the bonds were of no more substance than they were prior, and that the same abuse would happen again, and possibly worse, given the precedent.
I think it depends on circumstances. I mean, I feel differently about those that were mandated to take this garbage or lose everything than I do about those that lied, cheated and cut the line to "score" a dose. Both sides are jabbed. I can forgive one side. I cannot forgive the other...
so true, and so obvious (it resonates). Yes, on either side of it.
And it is also the case that you can forgive a person (for their cruelty from lack of understanding, utter cluelessness, misplaced self-righteousness or whatever the case may be), but still not stick around for a continuation of the abuse.
The video towards the end that has the more balanced perspective is based on Bowen Theory, which fact is a bit glossed over at the start (I haven't watched the whole video yet before commenting -- sorry). Bowen Theory is indeed very helpful in understanding family dynamics and resolving some of these issues. Simply learning about Bowen Theory can help people change in helpful ways to heal broken relationships and become closer. My personal experience is that it is harder for the people who are the most self-centered (reactive, easily triggered, blaming) to change -- so that leaves it up to the more aware party to begin to become more of an observer and calm the situation..... I cannot do justice to this approach here -- I urge all of you to check out Bowen Theory and look into it in more than a superficial way. It also greatly informs our understanding of what is being done to all of us in terms of manipulation of humanity. Many answers and solutions will be found. The more of us who understand these dynamics and can take the necessary, individual action, the stronger we become as a whole.
Here's what I noticed:
- Most people who agree with the need for reconciliation and forgiveness are not estranged
- Many people who are against forgiveness are estranged
Here's a different simplistic observation...
People who need reconciliation (for whatever reason) will reconcile.
People who want deep and trusting future connections they can rely on will not, without genuine contrition and regret.
If I was to apply forgiveness as general principle to unimportant relationships, I would always know that the bonds were of no more substance than they were prior, and that the same abuse would happen again, and possibly worse, given the precedent.
Makes sense to me
I think it depends on circumstances. I mean, I feel differently about those that were mandated to take this garbage or lose everything than I do about those that lied, cheated and cut the line to "score" a dose. Both sides are jabbed. I can forgive one side. I cannot forgive the other...
South Park had an episode about people trying to cut the line... 🤭
so true, and so obvious (it resonates). Yes, on either side of it.
And it is also the case that you can forgive a person (for their cruelty from lack of understanding, utter cluelessness, misplaced self-righteousness or whatever the case may be), but still not stick around for a continuation of the abuse.