I made the mistake of clicking on some of the links in the article and reading the posts - in particular the “announce my pregnancy” post and comments. The estranged adults forum talks about how the unnamed parents / family are narcissists… yet the majority of posts from these maladjusted adults reflect that they, not the others, are the…
I made the mistake of clicking on some of the links in the article and reading the posts - in particular the “announce my pregnancy” post and comments. The estranged adults forum talks about how the unnamed parents / family are narcissists… yet the majority of posts from these maladjusted adults reflect that they, not the others, are the rampant narcissists.
I know people who had truly terrible parents, from whom they are estranged. In those cases: (1) the only concern regarding announcing a pregnancy would be from keeping the parents from finding out, because of a sincere belief that the child to be having contact with the grandparents would pose a threat to the child; and (2) there would be no real discussion about wanting the parents to feel bad about not getting to know the grandchild - either because the adult had, in some way, forgiven or come to terms with the parent and their deficiencies or bad acts, or because “emotional payback” is such a non-concern in relation the overriding concern of keeping self and child safe from the toxicity of the parent.
What I saw there was either people who are downright, for lack of a better word, evil (not necessarily in a villain sort of way, but in a complete amorality and desire to cause others harm if anything gets in the way of their own self interest), or, for the better of the lot, flawed people who deep down know that “they are the baddies” but will never admit it u til they are steps from the grave.
Seeing this is sad in many ways, but please be sure to recognize that there are seriously dysfunctional and abusive parents out there - alienation is not simply "the fault of society".
However the dysfunction is often inherited and perpetuated, which is extremely unfortunate
Yes it is! Which is why I chose not to have kids. How could I determine that I would not pass on what was done to me if it had been done for generations? I simply could not take the risk. Knowing is one thing. Not acting on it is another.
I made the mistake of clicking on some of the links in the article and reading the posts - in particular the “announce my pregnancy” post and comments. The estranged adults forum talks about how the unnamed parents / family are narcissists… yet the majority of posts from these maladjusted adults reflect that they, not the others, are the rampant narcissists.
I know people who had truly terrible parents, from whom they are estranged. In those cases: (1) the only concern regarding announcing a pregnancy would be from keeping the parents from finding out, because of a sincere belief that the child to be having contact with the grandparents would pose a threat to the child; and (2) there would be no real discussion about wanting the parents to feel bad about not getting to know the grandchild - either because the adult had, in some way, forgiven or come to terms with the parent and their deficiencies or bad acts, or because “emotional payback” is such a non-concern in relation the overriding concern of keeping self and child safe from the toxicity of the parent.
What I saw there was either people who are downright, for lack of a better word, evil (not necessarily in a villain sort of way, but in a complete amorality and desire to cause others harm if anything gets in the way of their own self interest), or, for the better of the lot, flawed people who deep down know that “they are the baddies” but will never admit it u til they are steps from the grave.
It makes me weep for society.
Seeing this is sad in many ways, but please be sure to recognize that there are seriously dysfunctional and abusive parents out there - alienation is not simply "the fault of society".
However the dysfunction is often inherited and perpetuated, which is extremely unfortunate
Yes it is! Which is why I chose not to have kids. How could I determine that I would not pass on what was done to me if it had been done for generations? I simply could not take the risk. Knowing is one thing. Not acting on it is another.